Tuesday, August 3, 2010

From One Hopeful Monster to Another

I have been gratefully exploiting my sisters' privacy for years. Revealing all the awkward moments, capturing each ignominious pimple on large format film. I made a whole stink yesterday about how much I hate blogs as journals, I know, but since this too relates to my work, about transitioning into adolescence etc.. I thought this was permissible. Once again, a sister sends me another little gem:

And my response to what was inside:

thanks so much for your super sweet letter, and I am very glad that you wrote me asking for advice. I am not sure how private letters sent to you this way are, so I will try to be discrete and I will just assume you will be able to figure out what I am talking about since you are a smart girl. (Because of modern technology, you can now send campers emails which are delivered to them daily along with regular snail mail. Hey, at least I saved on postage)

My thoughts are as follows. Every year from 6th-11th grade my best friend always dated the guy that I really liked. Honestly, every single year, a different friend would date the guy I had a mega crush on. And yes it totally sucked. But here's how I looked at it so that I would not feel crummy all of the time. Firstly, I have ALWAYS felt that girl friends are a lot more important than guys. Would you seriously want to lose a girlfriend over a stupid guy you liked when you were 14?? If I got upset, Judy and I probably wouldn't still be best friends. Who you like at 14 has nothing to do with who you are going to love years from now, and while it might feel shitty watching your friend date someone you like, you should remember that their relationship is only going to last for a hot second, and then be over. Relationships at your age last for about as long as it takes to make popcorn in the microwave. (I didn't want to use the line from Clueless: "finding love in high-school is like finding meaning in a Paulie Shore movie" as I think the reference to the man who delighted us with treats such as BioDome might be lost on a present day 14 year old girl). So is it really worth losing a friend? Or letting it really upset you? Guys aren't worth the trouble.

That said, you shouldn't let a girl friend treat you poorly, or walk all over you. It sounds like maybe someone you know isn't behaving as nicely as they could when it comes to this kind of stuff. But that is only because they are insecure. So they have to do petty stuff, like interrupt you when you are in the middle of a conversation. That is so lame, and only makes her look stupid you know? You are great, and if a guy is going to like you, then he will. And if he doesn't then he doesn't know what he is missing. And besides, who wants to date someone who doesn't REALLY want to be with them? Not me. You're a catch, and don't forget it. Also, you are 14, so you have many years of many man ahead of you, to fall for, and date. Hang in there little soldier, the world of romance is a tough place, but I know you can brave it. I'm here for you. Love Morgan

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